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Sensations, thoughts, emotions, and actions are the basic elements in all human behavior. They are virtually inseparable and an alteration in one will produce an alteration in the others. In some persons the organization of these elements is such that they are considered "well-adjusted" individuals, while in others there is sufficient disorganization among these elements to produce what is recognized as "emotional disturbance." The management of these elements of behavior in such a way as to produce maximum comfort, pleasure, and happiness, i.e., life satisfaction, is the MAJOR OBJECTIVE in the lives of all human beings.
Yet, we have but to look around us to see the extent to which we have failed in our pursuit of this objective. In looking at ourselves, at others, and at the world in general, do we see planned progress toward life satisfaction or chaotic, haphazard struggle for the "crumbs" of life? Certainly we have not planned to fail, but even more certainly we have failed to plan, and consequently when we do look around us we encounter the dissention of racist and political groups, the anxieties of war, the hateful and wanton attacks of criminals, the disappointments of divorce, the drudgery of an uninspired, uninteresting, dull daily existence, the fear and anxiety of extreme competion for success and achievement, the escape of drugs and, finally, the distortions of this awful reality via severe emotional disturbance -- all so counter to the goal we set out for, and all so unnecessary.
And finally - when you accept flaws in yourself and others, you recognize that all human beings are fallible and imperfect, and that there is no reason why they should be any other way. You recognize that the flaws do not define the entire person – they are merely a part of the whole. Human beings are complex individuals; they are made up of many traits and behaviors. While you may decide that a certain trait or behavior is undesirable, you cannot decide that an entire person is undesirable. Each of us is way too complex to be given a single, global rating.
But why, with man's proven ability to master his environment, has he been such a failure in mastering his emotions? Primarily it is because he has failed to take advantage of the very techniques he has developed for mastering his environment. The scientific method is used and taught in virtually every other phase of man's existence except in teaching him how to better manage himself....not others, but himself!
Consequently, the emotional problems of daily living are brought about by and perpetuated in the magical beliefs and modern day superstitions which guide our emotional lives. It is when we take a calm, rational, scientific, problem-solving approach to the complexities and misfortunes of life that we find ourselves making steady progress toward that very elusive goal of life satisfaction.
Dr. Albert Ellis, who emerged as one of America's foremost psychotherapists, recognized as early as 1954 that irrational ideas -- that is, illogical and unsound assumptions regarding the nature of life and reality -- are the basis for emotional disturbance. More important, he discovered how these irrational ideas "sustained" emotional disturbance. He then developed a guide for the development of rational approaches to living. He showed that human beings can control the development of sustained negative emotional reactions by learning new and more rational attitudes toward their own and other's behavior. When one's attitudes and expectations follow rational pathways, these emotional reactions simply do not develop. Moreover, as one gradually learns these more rational attitudes, the negative emotions associated with old patterns of thinking disappear.
The following random list of Ellis' irrational ideas were taken directly from his book [followed by summary commentary.]
THE ELEMENTS OF RATIONAL LIVING
Irrational Idea: The idea that it is a dire necessity for an adult human being to be loved or approved by virtually every significant other person in his community.
The following random list of Ellis' irrational ideas were taken directly from his book [followed by summary commentary.]
THE ELEMENTS OF RATIONAL LIVING
Irrational Idea: The idea that it is a dire necessity for an adult human being to be loved or approved by virtually every significant other person in his community.
- Irrational Elements
- This is impossible; because of our own intrinsic prejudices, two persons whose approval may be valued highly might well hold contradictory expectations of another person: so at least one of them inevitably will be displeased.
- Rational Attitudes
- A person whould honestly try to be approved for practical reasons rather than for "himself" or "self esteem". True self-respect never comes from the approval of others but from liking of oneself and following most of one's own interests whether or not others approve one's doings.
- Irrational Elements
- Blaming and punishing is based on the assumption that it will usually induce a human being to stop his wrongdoing and behave much better, but all evidence shows that angry, blameful punishment generally interferes with human learning.
- Rational Attitudes
- We should realize that misdeeds are committed out of stupidity, ignorance, or emotional disturbances; hence we should try to accept people when they are stupid and help them when they are ignorant or disturbed.
- Irrational Elements
- This is an excuse: Overcoming fear requires great effort and often considerable distress, so that the easiest way out (temporarily) is to say that the past holds too strong an influence to allow change.
- Rational Attitudes
- The past is important and influential, but the present is the past of tomorrow and today's efforts can bring future results.
- Irrational Elements
- Living essentially means doing, acting, loving, creating, thinking, and is negated by an prolonged amount of goofing, loafing, or being lazy. While is is initially harder to get into vitally absorbing activities, persistence brings enjoyment. Inactivity leads to a blocking of one's strongest desires.
- Rational Attitudes
- Self-talk isn't enough. Force yourself, propel yourself, push yourself into action.
And finally - when you accept flaws in yourself and others, you recognize that all human beings are fallible and imperfect, and that there is no reason why they should be any other way. You recognize that the flaws do not define the entire person – they are merely a part of the whole. Human beings are complex individuals; they are made up of many traits and behaviors. While you may decide that a certain trait or behavior is undesirable, you cannot decide that an entire person is undesirable. Each of us is way too complex to be given a single, global rating.
So too with life. Many things will happen to you. Some will be good; some will be bad; and some will be neither good nor bad – they will be neutral. But you cannot rate your entire life's experience as good or bad based on a single event, or even series of events. Life, like human beings, is too complex to be given a single, global rating.