The body turned away - - "One feels alone."
The rejecting look on the face -- "One feels judged."
The unwillingness to hear what one says -- "One feels misunderstood."
The multitude of nonverbal ways in which we speak -- "One feels abased."
The harsh advice given in the presence of hurt and pain -- "One feels as an object."
We all have this ability --
I on my side of the wall and you on yours.
We pick up the old stones with which the wall was built and we put them back in place.
Do we know what we are walling in and walling out?
Usually a lot of love; an opportunity to be human to another.
"He drew a circle that shut me out; Heretic! Rebel! A thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win.
We drew a circle that took him in."
(From the poem " Outwitted” ― Edwin Markham)
I want to tell you something!
If you fail to get to know me then you have missed a nice person!
I'm not bragging, but telling you that there is something and someone worth knowing in me.
Now I'll say the same for each of you!
Within each of y ou there is a great man, woman or child.
I am diminished by not getting to know you.
Why do we allow walls to divide us?
Robert Frost said, "Something there is that doesn't love a wall, that wants it down!"
I say that SOMEONE doesn't love a wall---that is God!
[Weymouth Translation]
But now in Christ Jesus you who once were so far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. For He is our peace...and in His own human nature has broken down the hostile dividing wall...
[Conybeare]...the wall which parted us.
[Williams]...the wall which kept us apart.
The Cross
The Blood of Jesus Christ
God's gift of the Holy Spirit.
All these affirm God's attitude toward our walls of division.
Every time we lay stone upon stone, God is busy destroying the wall.
The late Reverend Clyde B. Smith's handwritten sermons and various other writings, poetry, etc. are being lovingly transcribed by his oldest daughter that his words might go on and be a blessing to his family as well as others, now and in future generations. "The Word" of God shall not return void. May all who read this blog be blessed by a man who loved God, his wife, and his family.
THE ROAD TO HAPPINESS
I've been reading one of my dad's books, "The Majesty of Calmness". Happiness in this day and time seems an elusive emotion. Many people say or think, what is there to be happy about? The country is broke. We're under attack by terrorists. My house foreclosed. I can't make ends meet. I can't figure out what to do with my life. I'm unemployed and can't find a job. On and on, the media tells us repeatedly how bad things are. But would you necessarily be happer if you had wealth, fame, honors, power, influence and prosperty? Prince Bismarck, one of the greatest statesmen of the nineteenth century said, even though he had all those things and held an empire in his fingers, he had not one day of happiness!
Here are some excerpts from the book.
"Happiness is the greatest paradox in Nature. It can grow in any soil, live under any conditions. It defies environment. It comes from within; it is the revelation of the depths of the inner life as light and heat proclaim the sun from which they radiate. Happiness consists not of having, but of being; not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is the warm glow of a heart at peace with itself. Man is the creator of his own happiness; it is the aroma of a life lived in harmony with high ideals. For what a man has, he may be dependent on others; what he is, rests with him alone. What he obtains in life is but acquisition; what he attains is growth. Happiness is the soul's joy in the possession of the intangible. Absolute, perfect, continuous happiness in life is impossible for the human. It would mean the consummation of attainments, the individual consciousness of a perfectly fulfilled destiny. Happiness is paradoxical because it may coexist with trial, sorrow and poverty. It is the gladness of the heart, rising superior to all conditions.
Man is the only animal that can be really happy. To the rest of the creation belong only weak imitations of the understudies. Happiness represents a peaceful attunement of a life with a standard of living. It can never be made by the individual, by himself, for himself. It is one of the incidental by-products of an unselfish life. No man can make his own happiness the one object of his life and attain it, any more than he can jump on the bull's eye of happiness on the target of life, aim above it. Place other things higher than your own happiness and it will surely come to you. You can buy pleasure, you can acquire content, you can become satisfied, but Nature never put real happiness on the bargain counter. It is the undetachable accompaniment of true living. It is calm and peaceful; it never lives in an atmosphere of worry or of hopeless struggle.
The basis of happiness is the love of something outside self. Love of parent for child; love of man and woman; love of humanity in some form, or a great lifework into which the individual throws all his energies.
Happiness is the voice of optimism of faith, of simple, steadfast love. No cynic or pessimist can be really happy. A cynic is a man who is morally near-sighted, and brgs about it. He sees the evil in his own heart and thinks he sees the world. He lets a mote in his own eye eclipse the sun. The keynote of Bismarck's lack of happiness was his profound distrust of human nature.
There is a royal road to happiness; it lies in consecration, concentration, conquest and conscience.
Consecration is dedicating the individual life to the service of others, to some noble mission, to realizing some unselfish ideal. Consecration places the object of life above the mere acquisition of money as a finality. The man who is unselfish, kind, loving, tender, helpful, ready to lighten the burden of those around him, to forget himself sometimes in remembering others, is on the right road to happiness.
Concentration makes life simplier and deeper, cutting away the shams and pretenses of modern living and limits life to its truest essentials. Worry, fear, useless regret, all the great wastes that sap mental, moral or physical energy must be sacrified or the individual needlessly destroys half the possibilities of living. Concentration dignifies a humble life. It leads to right for right's sake, without thought of policy or of reward. It brings calm and rest to the individual, a serenity that is but the sunlight of happiness.
Conquest is the overcoming of an evil habit, the rising superior to opposition and attack, the spiritual exaltation that comes from resisting the invation of the groveling material side of life. When it seems that justice is a dream; that honesty and loyalty and trugh count for nothing, when hope grows dim and flickers, that is the time when you must tower in the great sublime faith that right must prevail; you must master yourself to master the world around you. This is conquest and it is what counts. Even a log can float with the stream; it takes a man to fight sturdily against an opposing tide that would sweep his craft out of its course.
Conscience, as the mentor, the guide and compass of every act, leads ever to happiness. The individual must be careful that he is not appealing to a conscience perverted or deadened by the wrongdoing and subsequent deafness of its owner. The man who is honestly seeking to live his life in consecration, concentration and conquest, living from day to day as best he can, by the light he has, may rely explicitly on his conscience. He can shut his ears to "what the world says" and find in the approval of his own conscience the highest earthly tribune, and voice of the Infinite communing with the individual.
Unhappiness is the hunger to get; happiness is the hunger to give. Happiness comes not because we seek to absorb it, but because we seek to radiate it.
[Excerpts from The Majesty of Calmness" by William George Jordan]
Here are some excerpts from the book.
"Happiness is the greatest paradox in Nature. It can grow in any soil, live under any conditions. It defies environment. It comes from within; it is the revelation of the depths of the inner life as light and heat proclaim the sun from which they radiate. Happiness consists not of having, but of being; not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is the warm glow of a heart at peace with itself. Man is the creator of his own happiness; it is the aroma of a life lived in harmony with high ideals. For what a man has, he may be dependent on others; what he is, rests with him alone. What he obtains in life is but acquisition; what he attains is growth. Happiness is the soul's joy in the possession of the intangible. Absolute, perfect, continuous happiness in life is impossible for the human. It would mean the consummation of attainments, the individual consciousness of a perfectly fulfilled destiny. Happiness is paradoxical because it may coexist with trial, sorrow and poverty. It is the gladness of the heart, rising superior to all conditions.
Man is the only animal that can be really happy. To the rest of the creation belong only weak imitations of the understudies. Happiness represents a peaceful attunement of a life with a standard of living. It can never be made by the individual, by himself, for himself. It is one of the incidental by-products of an unselfish life. No man can make his own happiness the one object of his life and attain it, any more than he can jump on the bull's eye of happiness on the target of life, aim above it. Place other things higher than your own happiness and it will surely come to you. You can buy pleasure, you can acquire content, you can become satisfied, but Nature never put real happiness on the bargain counter. It is the undetachable accompaniment of true living. It is calm and peaceful; it never lives in an atmosphere of worry or of hopeless struggle.
The basis of happiness is the love of something outside self. Love of parent for child; love of man and woman; love of humanity in some form, or a great lifework into which the individual throws all his energies.
Happiness is the voice of optimism of faith, of simple, steadfast love. No cynic or pessimist can be really happy. A cynic is a man who is morally near-sighted, and brgs about it. He sees the evil in his own heart and thinks he sees the world. He lets a mote in his own eye eclipse the sun. The keynote of Bismarck's lack of happiness was his profound distrust of human nature.
There is a royal road to happiness; it lies in consecration, concentration, conquest and conscience.
Consecration is dedicating the individual life to the service of others, to some noble mission, to realizing some unselfish ideal. Consecration places the object of life above the mere acquisition of money as a finality. The man who is unselfish, kind, loving, tender, helpful, ready to lighten the burden of those around him, to forget himself sometimes in remembering others, is on the right road to happiness.
Concentration makes life simplier and deeper, cutting away the shams and pretenses of modern living and limits life to its truest essentials. Worry, fear, useless regret, all the great wastes that sap mental, moral or physical energy must be sacrified or the individual needlessly destroys half the possibilities of living. Concentration dignifies a humble life. It leads to right for right's sake, without thought of policy or of reward. It brings calm and rest to the individual, a serenity that is but the sunlight of happiness.
Conquest is the overcoming of an evil habit, the rising superior to opposition and attack, the spiritual exaltation that comes from resisting the invation of the groveling material side of life. When it seems that justice is a dream; that honesty and loyalty and trugh count for nothing, when hope grows dim and flickers, that is the time when you must tower in the great sublime faith that right must prevail; you must master yourself to master the world around you. This is conquest and it is what counts. Even a log can float with the stream; it takes a man to fight sturdily against an opposing tide that would sweep his craft out of its course.
Conscience, as the mentor, the guide and compass of every act, leads ever to happiness. The individual must be careful that he is not appealing to a conscience perverted or deadened by the wrongdoing and subsequent deafness of its owner. The man who is honestly seeking to live his life in consecration, concentration and conquest, living from day to day as best he can, by the light he has, may rely explicitly on his conscience. He can shut his ears to "what the world says" and find in the approval of his own conscience the highest earthly tribune, and voice of the Infinite communing with the individual.
Unhappiness is the hunger to get; happiness is the hunger to give. Happiness comes not because we seek to absorb it, but because we seek to radiate it.
[Excerpts from The Majesty of Calmness" by William George Jordan]
What is Life Satisfaction? - Emotional Problems of Daily Living
While this is not a sermon persay, it is a paper written by Rev. Smith in his professional capacity as the chaplain at a hospital, and I believe very relevant and useful thoughts on the pursuit of happiness and satisfaction in life.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sensations, thoughts, emotions, and actions are the basic elements in all human behavior. They are virtually inseparable and an alteration in one will produce an alteration in the others. In some persons the organization of these elements is such that they are considered "well-adjusted" individuals, while in others there is sufficient disorganization among these elements to produce what is recognized as "emotional disturbance." The management of these elements of behavior in such a way as to produce maximum comfort, pleasure, and happiness, i.e., life satisfaction, is the MAJOR OBJECTIVE in the lives of all human beings.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sensations, thoughts, emotions, and actions are the basic elements in all human behavior. They are virtually inseparable and an alteration in one will produce an alteration in the others. In some persons the organization of these elements is such that they are considered "well-adjusted" individuals, while in others there is sufficient disorganization among these elements to produce what is recognized as "emotional disturbance." The management of these elements of behavior in such a way as to produce maximum comfort, pleasure, and happiness, i.e., life satisfaction, is the MAJOR OBJECTIVE in the lives of all human beings.
Yet, we have but to look around us to see the extent to which we have failed in our pursuit of this objective. In looking at ourselves, at others, and at the world in general, do we see planned progress toward life satisfaction or chaotic, haphazard struggle for the "crumbs" of life? Certainly we have not planned to fail, but even more certainly we have failed to plan, and consequently when we do look around us we encounter the dissention of racist and political groups, the anxieties of war, the hateful and wanton attacks of criminals, the disappointments of divorce, the drudgery of an uninspired, uninteresting, dull daily existence, the fear and anxiety of extreme competion for success and achievement, the escape of drugs and, finally, the distortions of this awful reality via severe emotional disturbance -- all so counter to the goal we set out for, and all so unnecessary.
And finally - when you accept flaws in yourself and others, you recognize that all human beings are fallible and imperfect, and that there is no reason why they should be any other way. You recognize that the flaws do not define the entire person – they are merely a part of the whole. Human beings are complex individuals; they are made up of many traits and behaviors. While you may decide that a certain trait or behavior is undesirable, you cannot decide that an entire person is undesirable. Each of us is way too complex to be given a single, global rating.
But why, with man's proven ability to master his environment, has he been such a failure in mastering his emotions? Primarily it is because he has failed to take advantage of the very techniques he has developed for mastering his environment. The scientific method is used and taught in virtually every other phase of man's existence except in teaching him how to better manage himself....not others, but himself!
Consequently, the emotional problems of daily living are brought about by and perpetuated in the magical beliefs and modern day superstitions which guide our emotional lives. It is when we take a calm, rational, scientific, problem-solving approach to the complexities and misfortunes of life that we find ourselves making steady progress toward that very elusive goal of life satisfaction.
Dr. Albert Ellis, who emerged as one of America's foremost psychotherapists, recognized as early as 1954 that irrational ideas -- that is, illogical and unsound assumptions regarding the nature of life and reality -- are the basis for emotional disturbance. More important, he discovered how these irrational ideas "sustained" emotional disturbance. He then developed a guide for the development of rational approaches to living. He showed that human beings can control the development of sustained negative emotional reactions by learning new and more rational attitudes toward their own and other's behavior. When one's attitudes and expectations follow rational pathways, these emotional reactions simply do not develop. Moreover, as one gradually learns these more rational attitudes, the negative emotions associated with old patterns of thinking disappear.
The following random list of Ellis' irrational ideas were taken directly from his book [followed by summary commentary.]
THE ELEMENTS OF RATIONAL LIVING
Irrational Idea: The idea that it is a dire necessity for an adult human being to be loved or approved by virtually every significant other person in his community.
The following random list of Ellis' irrational ideas were taken directly from his book [followed by summary commentary.]
THE ELEMENTS OF RATIONAL LIVING
Irrational Idea: The idea that it is a dire necessity for an adult human being to be loved or approved by virtually every significant other person in his community.
- Irrational Elements
- This is impossible; because of our own intrinsic prejudices, two persons whose approval may be valued highly might well hold contradictory expectations of another person: so at least one of them inevitably will be displeased.
- Rational Attitudes
- A person whould honestly try to be approved for practical reasons rather than for "himself" or "self esteem". True self-respect never comes from the approval of others but from liking of oneself and following most of one's own interests whether or not others approve one's doings.
- Irrational Elements
- Blaming and punishing is based on the assumption that it will usually induce a human being to stop his wrongdoing and behave much better, but all evidence shows that angry, blameful punishment generally interferes with human learning.
- Rational Attitudes
- We should realize that misdeeds are committed out of stupidity, ignorance, or emotional disturbances; hence we should try to accept people when they are stupid and help them when they are ignorant or disturbed.
- Irrational Elements
- This is an excuse: Overcoming fear requires great effort and often considerable distress, so that the easiest way out (temporarily) is to say that the past holds too strong an influence to allow change.
- Rational Attitudes
- The past is important and influential, but the present is the past of tomorrow and today's efforts can bring future results.
- Irrational Elements
- Living essentially means doing, acting, loving, creating, thinking, and is negated by an prolonged amount of goofing, loafing, or being lazy. While is is initially harder to get into vitally absorbing activities, persistence brings enjoyment. Inactivity leads to a blocking of one's strongest desires.
- Rational Attitudes
- Self-talk isn't enough. Force yourself, propel yourself, push yourself into action.
And finally - when you accept flaws in yourself and others, you recognize that all human beings are fallible and imperfect, and that there is no reason why they should be any other way. You recognize that the flaws do not define the entire person – they are merely a part of the whole. Human beings are complex individuals; they are made up of many traits and behaviors. While you may decide that a certain trait or behavior is undesirable, you cannot decide that an entire person is undesirable. Each of us is way too complex to be given a single, global rating.
So too with life. Many things will happen to you. Some will be good; some will be bad; and some will be neither good nor bad – they will be neutral. But you cannot rate your entire life's experience as good or bad based on a single event, or even series of events. Life, like human beings, is too complex to be given a single, global rating.
Live Just One Day at a Time
Each of us needs outside emotional support - bits and pieces of philosophy, some wise words we can use as anchors, hooks on which to hang our doubts. Here's a little essay I ran across among daddy's papers, author unknown. Maybe it will help you over some rough roads.
JUST FOR TODAY I will live through the next 12 hours and not tackle my whole life problem at once.
JUST FOR TODAY I will improve my mind. I will learn something useful. I will read something that requires effort, though and concentration.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be agreeable. I will look my best, speak in a well modulated voice, be courteous and considerate.
JUST FOR TODAYI will not find fault with friends, relatives or colleagues. I will not try to change or improve anyone but myself.
JUST FOR TODAY I will have a program. I might not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two enemies - hurry and indecision.
JUST FOR TODAY I will exercise my character in three ways. I will do a good turn and keep it a secret.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be unafraid. Especially will I be unafraid to enjoy what is beautiful and believe that as I give to the world, the world will give to me.
JUST FOR TODAY I will live through the next 12 hours and not tackle my whole life problem at once.
JUST FOR TODAY I will improve my mind. I will learn something useful. I will read something that requires effort, though and concentration.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be agreeable. I will look my best, speak in a well modulated voice, be courteous and considerate.
JUST FOR TODAYI will not find fault with friends, relatives or colleagues. I will not try to change or improve anyone but myself.
JUST FOR TODAY I will have a program. I might not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two enemies - hurry and indecision.
JUST FOR TODAY I will exercise my character in three ways. I will do a good turn and keep it a secret.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be unafraid. Especially will I be unafraid to enjoy what is beautiful and believe that as I give to the world, the world will give to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)